On This Day One Year Ago...

Every morning since we moved to NYC from Arizona feels like I’m Nicolas Cage in the movie “Family Man”.  Nothing is familiar even after 10 months of living here.  

I wake up in a queen size bed, horns & sirens blaring outside that my noisy window a/c unit can’t even drown out.

 I wait for my teen daughter to be done in our one bathroom before I can even pee.  I go out to our dining room/living room/office to my hubby talking loud on a biz call and cook in a hot kitchen with no a/c toppling everything over in the cramped space.

My dog has to go outside which means I have to put on a bra, shoes & actual clothes since I train clients in my building who I run Into.  I wait forever for her to pee since she still isn’t used to relieving herself publicly on the sidewalk.  

No one is familiar even after 10 months.  I see clients & think “You are very nice but where are all my Az BAMs?” I facetime my Az clients & hate the barrier of the phone between us wishing I could walk thru my Apple iPhone portal to give them a hug.

I somehow got myself elected as PA President of Beacon High school.  I run board meetings hearing all the demands & think  “Who are you people & what do you want from me?”  

The one familiar person I knew here who actually wanted me to come here has declared “I am dead” to him.  He’s correct: the Az Lis is dead.  

NYC Lis has been resurrected in her place.  Even though that friendship turned out to be toxic I still miss him.  He was the only familiar person besides my family here.  

There are times I feel so homesick for my former life, my tribe, that it physically hurts.  I long for our small tight knit catholic school community who prayed for us & openly talked about God.  I don’t hear the “G” word mentioned much & get the feeling it’s a taboo subject here.  

I get into my via carpool service enduring smells & conversations I do not wish to have.  I endure the subway & all its cattle car qualities complete with a myriad of distinct odors  

I lug my laundry down to the basement hoping there is an open washer & dryer. There are times when I just break down & sob telling my family let’s go back home.  Everything in NYC is harder, takes longer, is a fight.  

Yet...I have no regrets.  

As difficult as it is here, it would be much more difficult sittting in my 3,000 sq ft house with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, letting my dog out to relieve herself in her spacious backyard complete with a pool, my central a/c,  a kitchen the size of my entire nyc apt, driving my car around enjoying the solitude & lovely fresh new car scent, doing laundry in my own washing machine, waking up in my king size bed & lingering in my private jacuzzi tub. 

The trade off of seeing all my familiar, loving people and keeping all the comforts of my former life would have been the nagging question that we would have been asking every day:  “What would have happened if we had said yes to Beacon High school & moved to NYC?”

I’d be disappointed in myself that I chose to stay comfortable, that I chose convenience over challenge, that I chose to not grow.

So yes it’s fucking hard since I moved here but not nearly as hard as the regrets I’d have if we hadn’t moved. 

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What’s Harder?

“But it’s so hard to get up early & workout” 

”But it’s so hard to pass up the wine” 

”But it’s so hard to make time to exercise” 

”But it’s so hard to____” 

I could go on & on.  But I’d rather ask you this “Is whatever you say is hard about getting fit & healthy harder than waking up everyday hating the way you look in pictures?  Harder than having no energy?  Harder than the way you feel inside?   Harder than none of your clothes fitting?  Harder than avoiding social events because of the way you look?  Harder than being the heaviest person in the room?  Harder than having sex with the lights on or at all?  Harder than having your life shortened by high blood pressure, diabetes & heart disease? 

For me exercising is hard.  Eating healthy is hard.  But not as hard as when I hated myself for weighing 226lbs. 

Time to stop hating.  Time to get the outside your inside always wanted.  Time to love yourself.  You are worth it.   

Non Scale Victory

Don’t allow an inanimate object to control your life, your day, or your mood.  

During my weight loss journey there were many victories along the way although the scale was not moving fast enough for my liking.  

In the first three months, my blood pressure normalized for the first time in 5 years.  My blood sugar stabilized & I was able to go off metformin.  My lipid panel normalized so heart disease & heart attack were no longer a concern.   

I could no longer eat the way I used to or I’d get severe heartburn, feel sluggish & cranky, especially if I skipped a workout.  

I no longer hid in pictures. I wanted to go shopping for smaller size clothes.   

My insides were healing & it was finally showing up on the outside. 

I love hearing clients like the one in this video proclaim their nonscale victories for the first time... 

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Paper Plate Special

I love to find household items to use in workouts.  

This workout uses paper plates as gliders.  Cheap & easy!  Well, easy to grab the paper plates but not easy exercises to perform.   

Watch as my client demos “The Paper Plate Special”

 

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Beautiful Words

My clients are my gifts...

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Filthy Fifty

My trainer, Matt Enriquez, gave this workout to me during my 80lb weight loss journey.  Now I’m paying it forward : )

Modify by not using weights for the step backs, jumping lunges & high knee presses.  Just do lunges instead of jumping lunges.  Squats instead of goblet squats.  For the squats be sure your weight is on the heels & push butt back like you are peeing in the woods!

 Step backs make sure knee stays in alignment with ankle not over the toe!  

Make sure you thrust your hips forward aggressively during the swings  & squeeze your butt tight.  

Lunges keep the knee aligned with ankle.

 Pelvic thrust make sure you squeeze your butt tight on way up & pause at the top.  

Enjoy!  

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Earn Your Cake & Eat It Too

 I have a huge sweet tooth.  In the beginning of my weight loss journey my trainer banished all sugar & sweet treats from my diet.  He told me I was a sugar addict.  I suggested just cutting back like a true addict.  He said “NO SUGAR”.  Not even fruit or fruit juices the first 3 months.

I had to learn self control, detox & clear my mind, body & soul from my sugar addiction.  I had to stop turning to sugar to comfort me.  I had to peel off not just the layers of fat but more importantly the layers inside.  Real change happens inside first then you see it on the outside. 

After 3 months I had lost 30lbs & 30 inches off my entire body by eating paleo & exercising 6 days a week. it was my daughter’s first communion which of course required a cake. I ordered very indulgent cake plus cookies from a popular bakery.   Those were for our family & friends coming.  The non paleo people.  The people who made fun of my new found “caveman diet”.  The people who said “paleo isn’t real food” which if they had educated themselves at all would have realized paleo is only real food.  

My trainer made me my own paleo chocolate cake complete with frosting, the most important part.  He gave me 3 slices; one for me, my husband & my daughter.  He was smart.  He knew willpower was a muscle you need to exercise & that muscle wasn’t strong enough yet to handle an entire cake in my home.  He said my home needed to be my safe haven.  You can’t eat what’s not there.  So on the day of her celebration he handed me the container with 3 slices of cake.  Everyone was making fun of my “cake” actually using air quotes to describe it.

 My trainer's kind gesture got me through feeling deprived at my daughter’s special occasion & taught me I can actually be satiated with one slice of cake as opposed to the entire cake I used to eat.  It’s a very dense rich cake that even I am not capable of eating more than a slice in one sitting.  That slice of cake drew more attention than if Martha Stewart baked a cake.   Everyone wanted to try a bite to see what “this paleo thing was all about”.   They said “wow it actually looks good”  & “it even has frosting?”  

The same people who had inquired if I was getting a “real cake” were now standing there wolfing down their  diabates sugar coma inducing cake AND cookies, yet they were badgering me to try a bite of the one small slice I was allocated.  

I  told them: hire Matt, pay your dues yourself & earn this fucking piece of “cake” like I have.  

Enjoy your cake.  You fucking earned it.

 

 

 

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Holiday Habits

Click on the link to see what habit Vanessa was determined to break this holiday season. 

It all started with an "I am" on December 2017

See if her "I am" became her reality on January 1st, 2018.

Raw & Real

Raw & real entry from my personal diary during my two year transformation journey of shedding 80lbs & finally finding myself again.   

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Muffins!

I gave up muffins while shedding 80lbs but now they are back in my life thanks to this delish product!  

20g  of protein in a muffin?!  

Come in several flavors but this one is my favorite!   

Enjoy your post workout muffin!   

 

 

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