When I weighed 226lbs my trainer would run around the building with me.
After I lost about 50lbs he would send me out to run alone. I asked him why he didn’t run with me anymore & he said “I ran with you in the beginning because I wasn’t sure you’d make it around the building even once”.
I felt like I would die running around that building when I was that heavy. He would say “Just start & before you know it you will be finished”.
But even after I lost weight, running was still a struggle for me. I’d get out of breath quick, and after 3 minutes I wanted to quit.
When my sis-in-law, a seasoned marathon runner, asked me to do a half marathon with her, for some odd reason,which is still unclear to me to this day, I said “ok”!
So the training began. Running 3-4 times a week with someone who is faster & more seasoned than me was frustrating & hurt my ego at times.
I kept at the training because I didn’t want to die running 13.1 miles. It scared the shit of me—13.1 miles is a lot more than the laps I had been running around the building.
Up to that point I’d only run a mile at most.
I pushed through even when I didn’t want to get up at 4:30 a.m. before the Tucson summer heat kicked in. A friend even told me I wasn’t built for running & I was too old to run my first half marathon.
I was determined to get myself to the starting line. Yes that’s right, the STARTING line not the finishing line.
I realized it’s much harder to get myself to the starting line; once the starting gun went off I’d knew I’d finish. For me the victory was not in finishing the race but actually starting the race.
I was begging God the night before to give me food poisoning or a broken toe or anything that would prevent me from getting to that starting line. Instead he gave me the gift of facing my fear & running right through it.
In training even on vacation on our 25th Anniversary. I fell down, got a little hurt but picked myself off & still ran back to our hotel.
I made it. The starting line. Facing my fear head on.
My daughter would run with me on days I needed an extra push.
My first & only 11 mile run along the Hudson River on vacation. The night before I was at a scotch bar but I still got up & trained. I was dedicated to not dying the day of the half marathon. My fear was my biggest motivator.