Nothing Half Ass About My Half Marathon

My first half marathon at age 47.  

I’m still amazed I did it.  My goals were get to the starting line, not stop & get to the finish line.  Oh and not die.  

I’m proud I did it but have no desire to do it again.  

My 226lb self never would have been able to do this.   

I ran for her.  

Me & Matt

I always thought Matt, my trainer told me, “Do exactly what I tell you & this will work”.  I was shocked when I read this & it was me saying to Matt, “Tell me what to do & I will do it”.  

He always told me it was me all along, that I did this & therefore all the credit goes to me, not him.  So this is me finally owning my power—only took 5 years. 

Thank you Matt & my Alive Family.  I miss you all but carry you in my heart forever. 

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My Alive Family 

Matt in the middle : ) 

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Matt teaching my daugher how to bench press 

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Matt giving me a lift  

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The gym class loser now turned Fitness Director  

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Lazy Science

Infertility was the catalyst for me getting fat, really fat, like 226lbs, 48% body fat kinda fat.  My husband had a low sperm count so of course how does the infertility field treat male infertility?  They pump us women full of unthinkable high doses of fertility drugs in the hopes we will grow an enormous amount of eggs, in the hopes one of the eggs will get fertilized by a single sperm (in my case they had to inject the sperm into the egg).  

This is on my mind seeing that it’s Fathers Day.  My former poor quality frozen embryo asked me why on earth would they treat male factor by putting a women through all that?  Isn’t there a better way?  Good question my smart girl asks.  And I can’t believe 21 years later science still doesn’t have an answer & we still treat women for a man’s problem.  

 I can tell you that I would have done anything to get pregnant with a biological child.  But now that the smoke has cleared & I have 15 years distance between that time I’m pissed.  Not that I had a baby of course, but that I had to endure so much physically to compensate for a medical diagnosis my husband had.  I’m not angry with him but at the medical field for having nothing better to offer us besides donor sperm.   Seems like lazy science to me.  Oh well, we don’t know how to make more sperm so let’s trash the woman’s body instead or take your male partner out of the equation. 

Even my husband seems to have forgotten that I was treated for male factor infertility.  Just recently he argued with me stating “No, you had endometriosis”.  Yes, that’s true but only AFTER my body was repeatedly pumped full of hormones.  Even my own reproductive endocrinologist said “We are putting gasoline on the fire with every cycle”. 

My body will never be the same again.  It was after my baby was born that the real problems began.  Yet my pain, scars, layers of fat, mood swings, cancer scare, gaining 80lbs, post partum depression, breast feeding issues & hormonal nightmare led me exactly where I was supposed to go.  Without it I wouldn’t be sitting here in my NYC apartment with my daughter making Fathers Day breakfast & blogging for a company I created.  I wouldn’t have this incredibly rich, fulfilling life, and the daughter & career I have now.  

Yes, it was hard.  Yes, I was angry then & maybe even more angry now at science.  However it was not as hard or angry as I would have been NOT trying for a biological baby.  

So thank you lazy science for allowing me to take the road less travelled which led to me to life I was meant to live.  

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Earn Your Cake & Eat It Too

 I have a huge sweet tooth.  In the beginning of my weight loss journey my trainer banished all sugar & sweet treats from my diet.  He told me I was a sugar addict.  I suggested just cutting back like a true addict.  He said “NO SUGAR”.  Not even fruit or fruit juices the first 3 months.

I had to learn self control, detox & clear my mind, body & soul from my sugar addiction.  I had to stop turning to sugar to comfort me.  I had to peel off not just the layers of fat but more importantly the layers inside.  Real change happens inside first then you see it on the outside. 

After 3 months I had lost 30lbs & 30 inches off my entire body by eating paleo & exercising 6 days a week. it was my daughter’s first communion which of course required a cake. I ordered very indulgent cake plus cookies from a popular bakery.   Those were for our family & friends coming.  The non paleo people.  The people who made fun of my new found “caveman diet”.  The people who said “paleo isn’t real food” which if they had educated themselves at all would have realized paleo is only real food.  

My trainer made me my own paleo chocolate cake complete with frosting, the most important part.  He gave me 3 slices; one for me, my husband & my daughter.  He was smart.  He knew willpower was a muscle you need to exercise & that muscle wasn’t strong enough yet to handle an entire cake in my home.  He said my home needed to be my safe haven.  You can’t eat what’s not there.  So on the day of her celebration he handed me the container with 3 slices of cake.  Everyone was making fun of my “cake” actually using air quotes to describe it.

 My trainer's kind gesture got me through feeling deprived at my daughter’s special occasion & taught me I can actually be satiated with one slice of cake as opposed to the entire cake I used to eat.  It’s a very dense rich cake that even I am not capable of eating more than a slice in one sitting.  That slice of cake drew more attention than if Martha Stewart baked a cake.   Everyone wanted to try a bite to see what “this paleo thing was all about”.   They said “wow it actually looks good”  & “it even has frosting?”  

The same people who had inquired if I was getting a “real cake” were now standing there wolfing down their  diabates sugar coma inducing cake AND cookies, yet they were badgering me to try a bite of the one small slice I was allocated.  

I  told them: hire Matt, pay your dues yourself & earn this fucking piece of “cake” like I have.  

Enjoy your cake.  You fucking earned it.

 

 

 

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Wishing for Waffles?

Don’t let the “paleo” part turn you off!  If you didn’t see the title & just ate these you’d never even know they were “paleo”!  I trick non-paleo peeps all the time! 

On my weight loss journey I treated myself on the weekends with these waffles.  You don’t need to give up all your indulgences, just tweak them to be healthier. 

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Easy to make!

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Quick also!

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Enjoy!!!