Watch the video to see how I trained Vanessa to face her fear head on & knock it down. All this was to prepare her for the Mud Run she was planning on doing.
All that hard work paid off. Vanessa earned that Mud Run medal. She broke down that wall. She said it was really hard but not nearly as hard as not doing it.
She said her “I ams” got her through the race. “I am focused”, “I am doing this”, “I am ready”, “I am breaking down the wall”. Vanessa learned that her mind is stronger than her body.
Her mind broke down that wall.
Infertility was the catalyst for me getting fat, really fat, like 226lbs, 48% body fat kinda fat. My husband had a low sperm count so of course how does the infertility field treat male infertility? They pump us women full of unthinkable high doses of fertility drugs in the hopes we will grow an enormous amount of eggs, in the hopes one of the eggs will get fertilized by a single sperm (in my case they had to inject the sperm into the egg).
This is on my mind seeing that it’s Fathers Day. My former poor quality frozen embryo asked me why on earth would they treat male factor by putting a women through all that? Isn’t there a better way? Good question my smart girl asks. And I can’t believe 21 years later science still doesn’t have an answer & we still treat women for a man’s problem.
I can tell you that I would have done anything to get pregnant with a biological child. But now that the smoke has cleared & I have 15 years distance between that time I’m pissed. Not that I had a baby of course, but that I had to endure so much physically to compensate for a medical diagnosis my husband had. I’m not angry with him but at the medical field for having nothing better to offer us besides donor sperm. Seems like lazy science to me. Oh well, we don’t know how to make more sperm so let’s trash the woman’s body instead or take your male partner out of the equation.
Even my husband seems to have forgotten that I was treated for male factor infertility. Just recently he argued with me stating “No, you had endometriosis”. Yes, that’s true but only AFTER my body was repeatedly pumped full of hormones. Even my own reproductive endocrinologist said “We are putting gasoline on the fire with every cycle”.
My body will never be the same again. It was after my baby was born that the real problems began. Yet my pain, scars, layers of fat, mood swings, cancer scare, gaining 80lbs, post partum depression, breast feeding issues & hormonal nightmare led me exactly where I was supposed to go. Without it I wouldn’t be sitting here in my NYC apartment with my daughter making Fathers Day breakfast & blogging for a company I created. I wouldn’t have this incredibly rich, fulfilling life, and the daughter & career I have now.
Yes, it was hard. Yes, I was angry then & maybe even more angry now at science. However it was not as hard or angry as I would have been NOT trying for a biological baby.
So thank you lazy science for allowing me to take the road less travelled which led to me to life I was meant to live.
Raw & real entry from my personal diary during my two year transformation journey of shedding 80lbs & finally finding myself again.
Took me awhile to publish this.
This rejection knocked the wind out of my sails.
I chose coming to the Soul Cycle audition in New York City over being there when my daughter said goodbye to the only home she ever knew in Tucson.
I chose the audition over driving across country with my daughter, husband & dog to move to our new home in NYC.
In addition to the emptiness I felt from the rejection of not making the Soul Cycle cut, I endured the emptiness of a hot apartment for a week after the audition waiting for my family to arrive.
It was one of the darkest times in my life. I woke up every morning feeling literally sick to my stomach-now I know why it's called homesick.
For the first time in a very long time, I felt vulnerable.
I doubted myself, cursed myself, felt sorry for myself. I felt lost & completely alone questioning every decision that I made.
All I could see was darkness.
It's been 2 months & I am no longer afraid of getting lost. I now know that the journey back reveals something new. I molted. New feathers have formed. New realities have revealed a new way for me to fly. Deeper understanding of who I am, and what I can do. A stronger me. Clear on what I want. What I am.
I am Lisa Ceizyk, owner, founder of simpatico mind & body.
I am all heart & soul even without Soul Cycle.
I am a BAM.
I once was lost.
Now I'm found.
Was blind--but now I see.
Famous Soul Move
Here I go...
Words of wisdom from my baby...
Videos of my Soul Journey...
What I want now...
My Dad is not a man of many words. When he does speak it's usually with very carefully selected words full of depth & meaning.
After I lost my 80lbs I went through a period where I was beating myself up over why I gained the weight in the first place. I used to be a swimsuit model for God's sake so how could I ever have let myself get to that point?
I was very scared of the weight coming back & kept looking back to try to make sense of it. Old Lisa kept reappearing. One day I told my Dad "It's as though I can see my old fat self in the rear view mirror."
My Dad said something so profound I have to share it because it has stayed with me. I even use it on my clients now. He said "That's why the front window is much larger than the rear view mirror. The rear view mirror is only to glance back every now & then. To serve as a reminder. The front window is for moving forward and the expansiveness of it serves as reminder of the endless possibilities that lie ahead."
Thank you Dad. XO
"So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake. Just keep on reaching though the limb might break. We've come this far don't you be scared now. 'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down."
Elliana sang those lines from Maddie and Tae's song "Fly" to me on the night I was about to chicken out at my first speaking engagement telling my weight loss journey. That was also Elliana's first performance playing guitar and singing in front of a crowd, and she inspired me with her courage.
We both have come so far & I did indeed learn to fly on the way down. This is for all of you flying out of your comfort zone.
The first flight is where all the magic happens.
Go ahead and jump. 😘
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My daughter & I are going to challenge ourselves & do Murph for the first time! I challenge you to do the same!
Make sure you time yourself. Note the times for varying fitness levels.
Also note the option to do 20 rounds as opposed to how the WOD is listed.
If you are unable to do pull-ups or aren't able to get to a gym do Lat pullovers instead. Lie on your back knees bent. Keep arms staight & pull a weight over your head touch down on ground then back over to belly button. Keep arms straight entire time.
Modify push ups by doing on your knees or doing hand release push ups. No worming! Or you can do push-ups off the wall.
Always keep your form. Don't scarifice form for speed. Better to finish at a slower time than to injury yourself from sloppy form.
In place of the run you can walk a mile if needed.
You got this!!!