Orgasmic

Warning: Sprinting causes orgasms...

This is the first time I heard this from a client but not the last.  Exercise releases endorphins—runners high.  A natural, on top of the world  climax during & after the exercise is over. 

When I was on my 80lb weight loss journey, I would be so amorous after training sessions my husband began to wonder what the hell I was doing with my trainer in those sessions.  

Watch this quick video to see the post sprinting climax this client experienced: 

Resting on Laurels

I remember when I stepped on the scale after three months with my trainer and saw I had lost thirty pounds.  I was ecstatic & flying high.  I walked outta that gym feeling taller, prouder than I had in years.  

I had lost THIRTY fucking pounds in  three months after going years without seeing the scale budge.

 I went to a dinner that night & my beloved bread basket came.  I thought,  ‘I just lost thirty pounds,  I can have a piece.’  Then the waitress asked if I wanted anything to drink.

 I thought for a second, then ordered a wine, I mean after all, deserved to treat myself, right?  I went on to have more bread, more wine leading to more poor decisions that weren’t in line with my goal of still having fifty more pounds to lose.  

My trainer was smart; he had me keep a food journal that he checked every time we met.  This way we could prevent me from going on a bender & waiting until the scale goes up to find out.

 His only rule was honesty.  So I was fucked & not in a good way.  I was going to have to write all this crap I just ingested in that damn food journal.  

I saw him two days later & his eyes got huge.  Then he looked at my 10-year-old-daughter, who was with me at that session & said “Hide your mother’s scale”.  He announced from that point forward, I was not allowed to weigh myself,  & when he weighed me he would not tell me the number.  

He told me I was cocky, resting on the laurels of losing 30lbs, and couldn’t be all loosey goosey with my eating.  I wouldn’t be allowed to use the scale as a partner in my indulgent crimes.

I now employ this with my clients who also rest on their laurels and use the scale as an excuse to go off the eating wagon.  I tell them “If you are cocky about all the weight you’ve lost, then I’m going to hide that damn scale, and only I will know if you’ve lost anything!” 

 

 Click on this video to hear my client who was caught resting on her laurels...

Haters Gonna Hate

People judge you by the way you live your life, so you might as well live it the way YOU want. 

Enjoy The Tunnel

I came to NYC to work for a production company three years ago.  The limo picked me up & took me through the Lincoln Tunnel.  

Little did I know that was yet another metaphor for my life.  Going through the tunnel would lead me to a life I never imagined.  Or maybe I did imagine it, i just never never imagined I’d act on it.

 I remember feeling nervous excitement during that ride through the tunnel.  I soaked it up knowing that as soon as I hit the end of the tunnel my life would never be the same.

I recently went through that same tunnel.  All the feelings of my first time through came flooding back.  The only difference is this time at the end of the tunnel was my home.  

I found my way through the darkness & not only found the light, but also found my home.  I realized the light waiting for me at the end of the tunnel was coming from inside me, not anything or anyone outside of me.

 I am the light.

My true self has been waiting for me at the end of every dark tunnel I’ve ever been through. 

The light always comes.  This I promise you.  The tunnel won’t last forever.  Some are longer, some are shorter, but there’s always a light at the end.  You are the light.

 Don’t walk.

Run to your high beam brilliance.


Belly of the Beast

The day I beat my “heroin” addiction...

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On This Day One Year Ago...

Every morning since we moved to NYC from Arizona feels like I’m Nicolas Cage in the movie “Family Man”.  Nothing is familiar even after 10 months of living here.  

I wake up in a queen size bed, horns & sirens blaring outside that my noisy window a/c unit can’t even drown out.

 I wait for my teen daughter to be done in our one bathroom before I can even pee.  I go out to our dining room/living room/office to my hubby talking loud on a biz call and cook in a hot kitchen with no a/c toppling everything over in the cramped space.

My dog has to go outside which means I have to put on a bra, shoes & actual clothes since I train clients in my building who I run Into.  I wait forever for her to pee since she still isn’t used to relieving herself publicly on the sidewalk.  

No one is familiar even after 10 months.  I see clients & think “You are very nice but where are all my Az BAMs?” I facetime my Az clients & hate the barrier of the phone between us wishing I could walk thru my Apple iPhone portal to give them a hug.

I somehow got myself elected as PA President of Beacon High school.  I run board meetings hearing all the demands & think  “Who are you people & what do you want from me?”  

The one familiar person I knew here who actually wanted me to come here has declared “I am dead” to him.  He’s correct: the Az Lis is dead.  

NYC Lis has been resurrected in her place.  Even though that friendship turned out to be toxic I still miss him.  He was the only familiar person besides my family here.  

There are times I feel so homesick for my former life, my tribe, that it physically hurts.  I long for our small tight knit catholic school community who prayed for us & openly talked about God.  I don’t hear the “G” word mentioned much & get the feeling it’s a taboo subject here.  

I get into my via carpool service enduring smells & conversations I do not wish to have.  I endure the subway & all its cattle car qualities complete with a myriad of distinct odors  

I lug my laundry down to the basement hoping there is an open washer & dryer. There are times when I just break down & sob telling my family let’s go back home.  Everything in NYC is harder, takes longer, is a fight.  

Yet...I have no regrets.  

As difficult as it is here, it would be much more difficult sittting in my 3,000 sq ft house with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, letting my dog out to relieve herself in her spacious backyard complete with a pool, my central a/c,  a kitchen the size of my entire nyc apt, driving my car around enjoying the solitude & lovely fresh new car scent, doing laundry in my own washing machine, waking up in my king size bed & lingering in my private jacuzzi tub. 

The trade off of seeing all my familiar, loving people and keeping all the comforts of my former life would have been the nagging question that we would have been asking every day:  “What would have happened if we had said yes to Beacon High school & moved to NYC?”

I’d be disappointed in myself that I chose to stay comfortable, that I chose convenience over challenge, that I chose to not grow.

So yes it’s fucking hard since I moved here but not nearly as hard as the regrets I’d have if we hadn’t moved. 

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What’s Harder?

“But it’s so hard to get up early & workout” 

”But it’s so hard to pass up the wine” 

”But it’s so hard to make time to exercise” 

”But it’s so hard to____” 

I could go on & on.  But I’d rather ask you this “Is whatever you say is hard about getting fit & healthy harder than waking up everyday hating the way you look in pictures?  Harder than having no energy?  Harder than the way you feel inside?   Harder than none of your clothes fitting?  Harder than avoiding social events because of the way you look?  Harder than being the heaviest person in the room?  Harder than having sex with the lights on or at all?  Harder than having your life shortened by high blood pressure, diabetes & heart disease? 

For me exercising is hard.  Eating healthy is hard.  But not as hard as when I hated myself for weighing 226lbs. 

Time to stop hating.  Time to get the outside your inside always wanted.  Time to love yourself.  You are worth it.   

Miracle Meal Plan

Simpatico mind & body meal plan changed this pilots life.  

Click on his video to hear how... 

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Non Scale Victory

Don’t allow an inanimate object to control your life, your day, or your mood.  

During my weight loss journey there were many victories along the way although the scale was not moving fast enough for my liking.  

In the first three months, my blood pressure normalized for the first time in 5 years.  My blood sugar stabilized & I was able to go off metformin.  My lipid panel normalized so heart disease & heart attack were no longer a concern.   

I could no longer eat the way I used to or I’d get severe heartburn, feel sluggish & cranky, especially if I skipped a workout.  

I no longer hid in pictures. I wanted to go shopping for smaller size clothes.   

My insides were healing & it was finally showing up on the outside. 

I love hearing clients like the one in this video proclaim their nonscale victories for the first time... 

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My Secret

Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud.

My chapter was my weight.  

When I weighed 226lbs only God & my doctor knew.  Then my trainer.  But not one other soul.  

I was ashamed.  I felt weak.  I felt powerless.  I felt out of control on the inside and it showed on the outside.  I wasn’t fooling anybody least of all myself.  

I wouldn’t go to the pool or beach since I wouldn’t be caught dead in a bathing suit.  I avoided reunions or any event that involved people I hadn’t seen in a long time.

 I stopped being in pictures or would hide in the picture.  My daughter was a great shield to hide behind. I avoided going to the doctor since I didn’t want to be weighed.

I stopped living my life.  It shows in my scrapbooks.  My daughter asked why I stopped scrapbooking after her 5th birthday.

 I stopped because my life stopped when I got fat.  I didn’t want to memorialize that time in my life.

You are only as sick as your secrets.  I was very sick when I weighed 226lbs.  I had diabetes, high blood pressure, my triglycerides were 700 & I was on Prozac for PMDD (PMS that makes everyone around you hide).

The layers of fat weren’t the worst part.  I was trapped in my own mind,  A prisoner in solitary confinement.   

Then one day I told my story. And not just to one person but hundreds of people in a talk at my gym when I first became a trainer.  Even worse they had a giant picture of my fatness displayed behind me for everyone to see.  

It was freeing to tell my story, my secret.  I shook, I cried & I blushed from embarrassment as I felt each shackle release.

Afterwards I was bombarded by women who were holding on to their secrets.   They were crying and thanking me for being so brave, so real.  

That was the start of a new life-giving career for me.  

Reading that chapter out loud healed my mind, heart & soul.  I had already lost 80lbs but the 226lb Lisa was still inside me.  

I closed that chapter after reading it out loud. I finally let 226lb Lisa go.  I thanked her for what she taught me, but asked her to never come back again. 

I became a difference maker.  

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Childish Excuses

I call BULLSHIT.  Based on my own experience I know what’s behind all of your excuses to eat healthy... 

I Choose...

I love when clients reach this point in their journey...

Breaking Down Walls

Watch the video to see how I trained Vanessa to face her fear head on & knock it down.  All this was to prepare her for the Mud Run she was planning on doing. 

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All that hard work paid off.  Vanessa earned that Mud Run medal.  She broke down that wall.   She said it was really hard but not nearly as hard as not doing it.  

She said her “I ams” got her through the race.  “I am focused”, “I am doing this”, “I am ready”, “I am breaking down the wall”.  Vanessa learned that her mind is stronger than her body.

Her mind broke down that wall.  

Beautiful Words

My clients are my gifts...

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Me & Matt

I always thought Matt, my trainer told me, “Do exactly what I tell you & this will work”.  I was shocked when I read this & it was me saying to Matt, “Tell me what to do & I will do it”.  

He always told me it was me all along, that I did this & therefore all the credit goes to me, not him.  So this is me finally owning my power—only took 5 years. 

Thank you Matt & my Alive Family.  I miss you all but carry you in my heart forever. 

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My Alive Family 

Matt in the middle : ) 

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Matt teaching my daugher how to bench press 

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Matt giving me a lift  

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The gym class loser now turned Fitness Director  

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Lazy Science

Infertility was the catalyst for me getting fat, really fat, like 226lbs, 48% body fat kinda fat.  My husband had a low sperm count so of course how does the infertility field treat male infertility?  They pump us women full of unthinkable high doses of fertility drugs in the hopes we will grow an enormous amount of eggs, in the hopes one of the eggs will get fertilized by a single sperm (in my case they had to inject the sperm into the egg).  

This is on my mind seeing that it’s Fathers Day.  My former poor quality frozen embryo asked me why on earth would they treat male factor by putting a women through all that?  Isn’t there a better way?  Good question my smart girl asks.  And I can’t believe 21 years later science still doesn’t have an answer & we still treat women for a man’s problem.  

 I can tell you that I would have done anything to get pregnant with a biological child.  But now that the smoke has cleared & I have 15 years distance between that time I’m pissed.  Not that I had a baby of course, but that I had to endure so much physically to compensate for a medical diagnosis my husband had.  I’m not angry with him but at the medical field for having nothing better to offer us besides donor sperm.   Seems like lazy science to me.  Oh well, we don’t know how to make more sperm so let’s trash the woman’s body instead or take your male partner out of the equation. 

Even my husband seems to have forgotten that I was treated for male factor infertility.  Just recently he argued with me stating “No, you had endometriosis”.  Yes, that’s true but only AFTER my body was repeatedly pumped full of hormones.  Even my own reproductive endocrinologist said “We are putting gasoline on the fire with every cycle”. 

My body will never be the same again.  It was after my baby was born that the real problems began.  Yet my pain, scars, layers of fat, mood swings, cancer scare, gaining 80lbs, post partum depression, breast feeding issues & hormonal nightmare led me exactly where I was supposed to go.  Without it I wouldn’t be sitting here in my NYC apartment with my daughter making Fathers Day breakfast & blogging for a company I created.  I wouldn’t have this incredibly rich, fulfilling life, and the daughter & career I have now.  

Yes, it was hard.  Yes, I was angry then & maybe even more angry now at science.  However it was not as hard or angry as I would have been NOT trying for a biological baby.  

So thank you lazy science for allowing me to take the road less travelled which led to me to life I was meant to live.  

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Rewrite Your Life

It’s never to late to rewrite your life.  I have many times over.  My biggest rewrite came after my weight loss journey.

 I had no idea how much my story would change. I became a trainer in my forties, and moved to NYC at 48 years old after living in Arizona for nearly 3 decades.  I opened up my own successful company at 45 years old.

 I ran for PA President of a top Manhattan school at 49 years old & won the election even though I’d never held or ran for office. 

I went from being painfully shy to speaking in front of hundreds of people on a regular basis.  I found my voice at age 45 & it keeps getting louder. 

I changed the characters in my story when needed.  During my weight loss journey I could not hang around people who didn’t value or respect my health & fitness lifestyle.  It’s no different than an alcoholic getting out of rehab & not being able to hang around her drinking buddies anymore.  

When I moved to NYC I knew one person, one “friend”.  He encouraged my family to move but when I arrived he became toxic to both me & my family.  I held on too long because I thought I needed him since I had no one familiar here.  

The familiar—the comfortable—can keep you stuck in jobs, relationships & circumstances too long.  My weight loss journey taught me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

 When I finally stepped out of my comfort zone new doors opened even when old doors slammed shut.  My life truly began after I lost 80 pounds because I became the main character in my own story.  

I decided I had the power to rewrite my life as many times as needed until it was  truly my own.  

Click on this link to hear more about rewriting your life.  You are worth it.