Silent Abuse

My inclination will never be to degrade you or shame you- - but rather erase you & make you suffer slowly & silently from behind the scenes. Kill you with silence”—an actual text from a “friend”

Ironically this person is a writer & executive producer for true crime shows starring psychopaths.  Maybe he got this chilling language from working on all those dark shows or maybe he is a psychopath himself.  Either way I found it disturbing & chilling to not just read but live it.

This same friend also informed me he didn’t just unfriend me from FaceBook but also from life.  OUCH!  I wasn’t the only “friend” he cut off, he was also “killing” other friends with his silence.  He told one of our friends this after she poured her heart out thinking he was going to produce shows on her history of abuse. 

I am a strong woman.  I can stand on my own two feet.  I do not cower.  I was bullied enough in school to now know how to stick up for myself.  But this type of “communication” or lack thereof even threw me off my game.  It physically hurt to be silenced.  My other friend said the same thing. 

So I started researching & found articles stating that the silent treatment activates the same pain receptors in the brain as physical pain.  That the silent treatment is even more damaging than if that person inflicted physical pain on you.  That it is indeed abuse—emotional abuse with no visible scars.

This makes me nervous for my daughter’s generation.  All their communication is on social media, texting.  Imagine the wounds being inflicted daily with the blocking, unfriending, etc. The emotional collateral damage is unthinkable. Even worse is that they are growing up thinking this is normal, appropriate behavior.  So, as adults we need to lead by example showing our kids how to confront someone when you are angry, upset or hurt instead of shutting them out.  We need to let them see us fight and more importantly apologize & forgive each other.  The golden rule is needed now more than ever.  Let your kids see you doing onto others as you want done to you.

I kept silent for years that I weighed 226lbs.  I know you are only as sick as your secrets.  I also know that I’m not staying silent so someone else can stay comfortable abusing me.  I already did that to myself—I abused myself by giving my “secret” the silent treatment.  By beating myself up everyday for being fat yet not allowing my voice to be heard.  I found my voice & plan to never silence myself again.

Click on my video below to hear me: