My Why

Lisa Ceizyk personal trainer Why photo

For Matt Enriquez my trainer, my healer,my guidepost who if it weren't for him I'd never have the honor of sharing my success story with all my beautiful clients. I love all of you dearly.

Thank you for allowing me to share in your transformations.

I used to dread going to the doctor, avoiding going at all costs. On the rare occasions I was so sick my husband had to drive me I would make him wait in the waiting room. Some of you are shaking your heads cuz you know why: the doctor's office has this horrible little device called a scale.

That scale knew my secret.

I didn't want my husband to know my secret. I didn't even want to acknowledge my secret.

My secret was that I weighed 226lbs, my body fat was 48%, I had high blood pressure and diabetes and according to my doctor it was a miracle I hadn't gone into cardiac arrest based on my lipid panel alone. 

The same doctor told me I would die an early death if I did not lose weight, handed me several prescriptions and told me "have a nice day". How the fuck do you have a nice day when you've just been handed a death sentence???

I told no one, NOT ONE SOUL what that doctor told me. I was humiliated. 

I did "try" to lose weight on my own.  But let's face it: there is no such thing as "trying" to do anything in life.

Either you are or you are not; and I was not. 

So I flailed about on my own, feeling worse both inside & out....

Then I met a trainer who changed the course of my life. He gave me the same exact death sentence as Dr. Death, but to make matters worse, the little bastard had the nerve to call me obese. The difference is he gave me a plan. He told me "do exactly what I tell you to do and this will work." So I did exactly what Matt told me to do....

Even when I didn't want to. Even when every muscle & bone in my body ached.

Even when the margaritas were flowing around me I resisted the temptations.

Even when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer & an aortic aneurysm all in the same year I decided to transform my life.

 I stayed the course.  Was clear on what I wanted.  LASER SHARP FOCUS.

Even when my husband came home saying "Lis I don't know when or if I am getting another paycheck" and I went from being a stay at home mom to a full time working mom literally overnight.

I did not give up.

I went to the principal of my daughter's school asking for a job so I could keep her in that school. The principal handed me a stop sign and reflective vest.  I stood in a crosswalk everyday. Little did I know: that crosswalk was literally a metaphor for what was about to happen in my life.

When life fought me I fought back harder. I screamed FUCK YOU UNIVERSE!!!!

And it paid off. I lost 80lbs, more than 1/2 my body fat & am no longer on any meds despite Dr. Death saying my conditions were genetic & I would always be on them.  I felt triumphant shoving those labs up his ass.

I have a brand new career because of my fat to fit journey.  I love my fat self as much as my fit self.

The only difference is now I know I am worth it.

That trainer, Matt gave me a gift.

He taught me how to save my own life and the life of my daughter who was headed down the same path of obesity & poor health that I was on.  She was so pissed at first when I came home & threw away all her beloved cookies, Cheetos etc.... She cried saying she hated Matt and was just a kid and crossed her arms at the dinner table, refusing to eat our new healthy meals.

That same child who is now 14 has 2 goals listed at the end of her bed. The first "when I am 35 1/2 of America will be fit & healthy" the 2nd "when I am 45 all of America will be fit & healthy".  She inspires me.

How many of you brush your teeth everyday? C'mon, raise your hands.  It's a habit right?

My own goal, which Elliana inspired, is that someday when I'm talking to a large group of people I see as many hands go up when I ask how many of them worked out at least 3 times this week or how many of them made healthy eating choices at least 80% of the time this week. Fitness and healthy eating need to become a habit just like brushing your teeth.

I get asked the question of how all of a sudden I was able to drop 80lbs after failing over and over again for years. Yes Matt kept me accountable & I was ready but the real reason was my "why".

My "why" seems obvious right? Early death is a good why. But that was not enough to propel me forward. Matt told me dig deeper there is a very personal reason why you want to lose weight and it's not your health cuz everyone wants to be healthy and no one wants to die a premature horrible death.

Dig deep.

Once again Elliana's insights helped me. I used to scrapbook. I have beautiful scrapbooks of our little family that Elliana loves to look at. One day she asked me why there's no scrapbooks after her 5th birthday. That's when it hit me like a fucking freight train.

I was lucky I was surrounded by people who loved me and even adored me no matter what my size. My husband would look at me with all honesty & tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on & there I was 80 fucking pounds heavier than when he first met me.

I would even look in the mirror & think "damn I look good even at 226lbs". It didnt even bother me to walk into a store asking for a size 20 dress.

But...I'd see a picture of me & think who the hell is THAT fat, ugly, lost woman in that picture??? I literally did not recognize myself.

I was very obsessed with reaching a number on the scale, but Matt made Elliana hide my scale. He wouldn't tell me the number on weight for days. He told me "You will know when you reach your goal, because you will feel it inside not see it in a number on the scale.

He was right.

A picture was taken on our anniversary & when I looked at it I started shaking.

I said out loud "there you are".  I found myself again. I was no longer hiding underneath all that fat.

My outsides finally matched my insides again.  I was back. Stronger than ever, and I don't mean physically, even though that was a by product.

My "why" was pictures.